The groups of S-Anon Couples in Recovery do not have leaders. There are no professional's, no therapists in charge. We do have people serving as the meeting chair, treasurer and secretary , however, these are rotating positions. These are our trusted servants. These are also service positions. Most of the members find that doing service to the group, results in enhancing their own recovery.
The trusted servants do not tell other members what they must or must not do. We don't create by-laws or rules that are designed to control other peoples behaviors. The illusion of being in control seems to be a major S-Anon and SA symptom.
The following is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous Chapter 3. Adapted text is Bold and Underlined
We members of S-Anon are men and women who have lost the ability to control others. We know that no real member ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that people of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better...
Our trusted servants practice caution.
On page 123, Alcoholics Anonymous comes of Age, Bill Wilson states:
....enduring leadership of A.A. their is the quiet opinion, the sure knowledge, and the humble example that resolves a crisis. When sorely perplexed, the group inevitably turns to them for advice. They become the voice of the group conscience. They are, in fact, the true voice of Alcoholics Anonymous. They do not drive by mandate; they lead by example......This is why A.A. can never be organized under any known form of government.
